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Say no to drugs…sometimes.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

Silence is gold, duct tape is silver.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

If your joints are stiff, you’re rolling them too tight.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

Some days I wish I had more middle fingers.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

Some days I wish I had more middle fingers. other color

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

I solemnly swear…often.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

I’m not going on the next family guilt trip.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

I hope this is the final season of this shit show.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

When I die I want an open blouse funeral.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

It’s all fun and games until someone loses their dignty.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

If it ain’t broke, don’t let my kids touch it.

Fashionably funny, the new Matchdaddy key fob features an easy-find clasp and brass safety whistle.

I wish there was a recipe for shut your pie hole.

These fun kitchen towels can add giggles to even the most mundane task. Made of 100% thirsty cotton and generously sized – 19″ x 27″

When I’m feeling fat, I try to keep my chins up.

These fun kitchen towels can add giggles to even the most mundane task. Made of 100% thirsty cotton and generously sized – 19″ x 27″

My stomach is flat, the L is silent

These fun kitchen towels can add giggles to even the most mundane task. Made of 100% thirsty cotton and generously sized – 19″ x 27″

Kale taste like I would rather be fat

These fun kitchen towels can add giggles to even the most mundane task. Made of 100% thirsty cotton and generously sized – 19″ x 27″

I’m so poor I can’t pay attention.

These fun kitchen towels can add giggles to even the most mundane task. Made of 100% thirsty cotton and generously sized – 19″ x 27″

Well well well, if it isn’t those feelings I keep eating.

These fun kitchen towels can add giggles to even the most mundane task. Made of 100% thirsty cotton and generously sized – 19″ x 27″

Eating lipstick doesn’t make you pretty on the inside.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Say no to drugs…sometimes.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Kale taste like I would rather be fat.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I feel sorry for the people who don’t know me.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If you love something, set it free. If you hate something, set it on fire.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If your joints are stiff, you’re rolling them too tight.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Your drama needs an intermission.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If you’re crazy and you know it… take your meds!

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Some days I wish I had more middle fingers.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I can still haul ass…it just takes more trips.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’ll scratch your back…if you’ll shave mine.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I solemnly swear…often.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Namaste. Namago.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’m organizing a search party…to help me find myself.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

When I’m feeling fat…I try to keep my chins up.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If I were a drag queen, my name would be Shellita Buffet.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I almost didn’t recognize you with your new face.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’m sorry I missed your pity party…again.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Killing people with kindness…takes too long.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Curiosity did not kill the cat…I did.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If you can’t laugh at yourself…I will.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Dance like nobody’s watching…unless you’re a stripper.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

no need to apologize…I would rather hold a grudge.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

My patience is too short…to ride your emotional roller coaster.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’m not going on the on the next family guilt trip.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I hope it’s the final season of this shit show.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I wish there was a recipe for shut your pie hole.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

i’m a lot more fun once the pills kick in.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Eating lipstick doesn’t make you pretty on the inside.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Say no to drugs…sometimes.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Kale taste like I would rather be fat.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I feel sorry for the people who don’t know me.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If you love something, set it free. If you hate something, set it on fire.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If your joints are stiff, you’re rolling them too tight.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Your drama needs an intermission.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Silence is gold. Duct tape is silver.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If you’re crazy and you know it… take your meds!

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Some days I wish I had more middle fingers.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I can still haul ass…it just takes more trips.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’ll scratch your back…if you’ll shave mine.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I solemnly swear…often.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Namaste. Namago.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’m organizing a search party…to help me find myself

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

When I’m feeling fat…I try to keep my chins up.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If I were a drag queen, my name would be Shelita Buffet.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I almost didn’t recognize you with your new face.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’m sorry I missed your pity party…again.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Killing people with kindness…takes too long.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Curiosity did not kill the cat…I did.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If you can’t laugh at yourself…I will.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Dance like nobody’s watching…unless you’re a stripper.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

no need to apologize…I would rather hold a grudge.

Hot, cold, hard or soft, beverages are a lot more fun when served on Matchdaddy Coasters. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

A neatly trimmed bush…makes your deck look bigger.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Cats are like strippers…they’ll sit on your lap, but no touching.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I may not be the prettiest or the funniest…but at least I’m not the smartest.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

We can be friends with benefits…if you own a liquor store.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Drunks start fights. Stoners start bands.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I may know a few manure salesmen…with their mouths full of samples.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

My milkshake still brings all the boys to the yard…I just don’t mow as often.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

When one door closes…hopefully your mouth will too.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

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