Matchboxes

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Eating lipstick doesn’t make you pretty on the inside.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Say no to drugs…sometimes.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Kale taste like I would rather be fat.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I feel sorry for the people who don’t know me.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If you love something, set it free. If you hate something, set it on fire.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If your joints are stiff, you’re rolling them too tight.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Your drama needs an intermission.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If you’re crazy and you know it… take your meds!

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Some days I wish I had more middle fingers.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I can still haul ass…it just takes more trips.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’ll scratch your back…if you’ll shave mine.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I solemnly swear…often.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Namaste. Namago.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’m organizing a search party…to help me find myself.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

When I’m feeling fat…I try to keep my chins up.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If I were a drag queen, my name would be Shellita Buffet.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I almost didn’t recognize you with your new face.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’m sorry I missed your pity party…again.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Killing people with kindness…takes too long.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Curiosity did not kill the cat…I did.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

If you can’t laugh at yourself…I will.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

Dance like nobody’s watching…unless you’re a stripper.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

no need to apologize…I would rather hold a grudge.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

My patience is too short…to ride your emotional roller coaster.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I’m not going on the on the next family guilt trip.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I hope it’s the final season of this shit show.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

I wish there was a recipe for shut your pie hole.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

i’m a lot more fun once the pills kick in.

The laughs and gasps are plentiful with the Matchdaddy Voice in My Head collection. Designed and printed on a variety of quality papers in Chicago IL USA

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